Dia-BLAH. Yawn.

Dear Chef Yontz,

Congratulations on your recent success of your new long coming restaurant, El Diablo.

All the restaurant reviewers in town are stroking your place; I mean really passionately talking about how fucking great El Diablo is. I can attribute the majority of those over-inflated reviews to your reputation. Using creativity with some classic and very familiar Mexican fare is fun, but you and I both know it’s been done. And done. And done. Somehow you found a formula to convince the eager diners of Denver to gather in your massive dark space.  All of the Hornet’s patrons have been stumbling across the street to your place because of your flashy lights and voodoo tricks. They were likely bored and tired of overpaying for a burger, and wanted to overpay somewhere else to feel that “first time” feeling again.

Denver is the land of inexpensive Mexican food, so for me to pay for upscale enchiladas, it better be damn good and laced with mother of pearl. (Yes, I would eat mother of pearl if used as a topping and mixed with some other toppings. I love toppings). You can list the ingredients required for pretty much all dishes on a Mexican restaurant menu on one hand. The ingredients are still the same and still fairly inexpensive whether sold from a truck on Federal or the corner of Broadway and 1^st. I know there is something to be said for your hip décor, the rockin’ location, and of course, your chef expertise. But top chef or not, you are serving basic Mexican fare and it wouldn’t kill you to put some free chips and salsa on the table. Seriously.

I wanted to thank you for filling that space, which has been an eye sore. Now we patrons have all of three casual dining choices on Broadway. Yours however, looks cooler than the other ones. (Yeah, skulls!) I do applaud you for your quick and efficient young and attractive staff. I loved the Pork Belly Tacos as well. I couldn’t actually see them much to eat them to examine the ingredients, or even hear my friend talk during dinner. So we mostly just nodded and smiled at each other and chewed. The chairs we were seated in reminded me of something I sat in the cafeteria in a church basement ten years ago. That’s a memory that was locked away in a dark place until that very moment. I will never forgive you for that.

I know this is a scathing letter. My experience at your restaurant really wasn’t horrible. But it reminded me of something that’s happening around Denver. You top chefs are taking advantage of us eager sprouting foodies.  You are feeding us ok pizza (Osteria Marcos!) and telling us it’s better than the cheap by-the-slice places. It's really no different.  You are serving us $9 margaritas (ZENGO) with the promise of an exotic ingredient that is supposed to change our experience. And you short pour our drinks. I don’t care if you have fancy ass drinks on your menu, using words like “hand pressed” or “house infused”. A margarita is a margarita. Pizza is pizza. I can still buy a fucking case of Mexican beer for the cost of appetizers and drinks at the Latin fusion or upscale pizza restaurants that have been springing up around Denver.  Did we forget that it's still just pizza, and just tacos?

We believed you; we spent our paychecks and had extra rounds and over paid and walked out feeling just ok. BUT JUST OK ISN’T GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME ANYMORE. Stop relying on your reputation and have some damn integrity. Just be better.

Sincerely,
Avee London